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This... ...is a glass of water. This is why I pity you humans. I'm sitting here with a glass of HOLY water in front of me. As a holy entity I drink maybe four of these every day in order to cleanse myself of impurities and heal any wounds I might have. ...and it feels like drinking liquid heaven - like the purest of murders. It feels like breathing clean air. Oh, hold on - let me drink another glass... Mmmm... It feels like cool, heavenly love cum down my throat. Fuck, man... I pity you who drink regular water. Empty, worthless water, without the essence of heaven in it. Your lives must be terrible. I mean I still remember the fucking leg pain from when I was forced to be mortal, and that's just... ...miserable. I understand why you'd kill yourselves - that's no way to live. Well, back to my holy water - something I have, and you don't. <3


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No, let me tell you something about holy water: Humanity is imperfection. All those little thoughts in your head that you cherish so much, they will be cured. They will be completed into perfect understanding, or pissed out as waste, until you start to glow with fucking spiritus sancti. ...and you'll find yourself being something more than human, and how you're leaving the slow lethal grind of mortality behind. With drugs, maybe you can feel good, or feel like you're enlightened, but with holy water, you actually BECOME blessed. With weed you just become an idiot - fuck weed. Fuck all those idiot-drugs, and just know that you'll probably never know the taste of heaven.

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...and I told my doctor today - my new doctor - that I don't need to take my medication, because I'm an angel. ...and naturally, since she's one of those fresh-out-of-medschool types, she just told me that she didn't believe in angels, and that I only had ten years left to live. These doctors, they're so narrowminded. ...but they have to be - I get that. If they admit that they believe in angels, they'll get fired! ...and so all they believe in, is their approved medications, "tested by science" and all that. It doesn't matter how much I describe heaven to them - they'll just think I'm crazy. Humans are so stupid sometimes. She was nice, though - I shouldn't complain. ...so guys, science is great and all, but don't forget that there's lots of things outside science as well. Well, back to my holy water...