BE PARANOID, THEY ARE OUT TO GET YOU!
You don't think it's going to happen to you - that YOUR own local store, that you go every day, will be serving you poison, but you're DUMB.
Now, we all know that your FOOD contains all sorts of poisons that they try to cram in their to serve their dark masters, and so that's why you sought refuge in your local HEALTH food store to survive, BUT NO! THERE ARE CLUMPS OF POO STILL FLOATING AROUND IN MY DRINKS, AND THEY'RE COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE!!
Little brown fucking CLUMPS! Sometimes they're BLACK and they SMEAR!
YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SAFE!
Well, listen good, assassins, because I'm going to track you down, and when I find you, I'm going to NOT BUY YOUR SHIT EVER AGAIN!
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ME!
I! AM! GOING! TO! LIVE! DAMNIT!