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Was on vacations taking a break, but now I'm back. Before messing with more code, I want to fix the mobile layout (the content is displayed at only half of the screen size), and also give some basic board filtering and board discovery features to the front page. I am awful at CSS, so if anyone can pinpoint the solution by looking at the CSS+markup let me know.


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>>25912 He's a jew, though. If we mess with him, the JIDF will have our asses, goyim.


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Welcome to /p/. This is a board for posting in if not even /b/ will have you. "Expected" and non-creative threads, go here. (Outright spam does not, though.) This board isn't meant to be pretty, so let's hope the board filter will be enabled soon.


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So what do you guys wanna talk about?


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...like what? What do you find nice?

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>>102 such

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Why don't you have a girlfriend anon? >>100

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>>104 Because I don't like girlfriends. I like porn. Girlfriends is like a single pornmodel, that you have to argue about dishes with, and who complains when you're not good enough, and who doesn't get that she's an idiot, and who you have to watch so that she doesn't fuck other people. ...and when you whisper "Oh, Princess Peach!" in bed, she just gets mad at you. Girlfriends suck. ...and as if that wasn't enough, sometimes they get pregnant, and then I'll have to tell you how much BABIES suck. They're not just for CP, you know. They scream and poop and eat poop and fling poop, and you have to get them to school, and before you know it you're a slave not just to your girlfriend, but to some needy little brat whom you're not supposed to even fuck.

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>>103 I just wrote a nice, sexy chapter in my fanfic about a gothgirl peeing. Is that close enough?



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Xmas is a time for friends and family. It's also a time for giving. Most importantly it's to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Followed by a few days of filling upnon cheese and wine. Then it was a brand new year. It hasn't been a month yet, but it seems like it was so long ago already. Did you get what you wanted for Xmas chums?


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Fluid level is 77/80 and receeding. Proceeding into sub-basement on two square radius. Heavy signs of big papa activity, but no visuals or readings. Found some children's bones by the looks of it.


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Our first expedition was a very brief one. It wasn't long before the fluid level backed up again, making our presence unsustainable. It's a long way to get them all the way down to below 70/80, which "is where the real good stuff is", so to speak. After some RnR, we're about to start prepping for a second expedition. There's been some halucinations affecting the morale among the team. Some guy mentioned seeing unending sausages of limbs pulsating through the air. It's hard to tell what's even real down there anymore. Hopefully it's just the sewage vapours, and it'll go away once we've established a foothold. At this rate, I reckon that'll take maybe a month or two. ...unless big papa cuts our lives short. The thought of big papa somehow having survived, isn't a comforting thought. ...but when I entered down there, I was immediately overcome with this overwhelming certainty that he has. It's as if it left those children there at our doorstep, to welcome us. Well, if I die, I'll at least have died on camera, and we can seal this godforsaken tomb up for good afterwards.



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Let's continue to follow the Twitter life of Spoony. (The previous thread in /b/ ( https://enrive.org/b/thread/232333 ) was moved to off topic for absolutely no good reason, and that's exactly why /p/ exists.) You know, every time I read shit like this, I ask myself how April is taking this. If she's even still with him, then either she has to be the most exceptional gem of a woman, who singlehandedly proves every misogynist wrong by sticking by her man no matter what, or she just doesn't give a fuck, and just leaves him to stu in his own rot while she's playing Everquest, proving every misogynist right. Either she's the cause of this, or she's enabling him through pity sex. ...because I sure as hell wouldn't put up with this amount of bullshit as a significant other, and every single woman I've ever dated has dumped me for way, way less than this. April's and Spoony's Twitter feeds are like night and day. April's feeds are just normal and carefree. She takes walks with Oreo in the sun, and everything is happy. They share a dog, but it's like Spoony doesn't even exist - like she buried him alive somewhere.


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...and my Spoony saying "Why don't you make a VIDEO about it?" still holds true here: Even if Spoony would cry on camera over losing April, that would still be a Spoony video. That would still be the guy we knew and loved sharing his feels about something. ...but no, instead we get a little poorly punctuated row in a Twitter message. A little tweet, like he's more chicken than man. This is what years of Mtn Dew does to a man, fellow pedophilic gentlemen. Take heed.

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News: Spoony wants April back. ..."to how things were before". Well, I want April too, and you already had a go at her. I'd say that I deserve her more than you do. I also want an orgy with five little girls - all of them April at ages 5-10, a few of them with superpowers related to sex, and a shapeshifter in case I get bored, and then I want to marry them all, and have lots of mini Aprils ready to go - that's what I want. I also want a million dollars, a jet, a pool, a hose up my ass so that I don't have to go to the bathroom, and I want to live forever just like that, okay? I think you hear me knocking, and I think I'm coming in, and I'm bringing April with me, so that you can watch us go at it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3asvL8LfKE

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This childish attitude is infuriating me. It's like he doesn't understand that you have to EARN love - that people may fall in love over stupid things, but that you actually have to keep your shit together in order for them to stay once they come to their senses. April has always been a girl with standards. She picked him because she looked up to Spoony. She's not going to pick him now that he's looking up at HER from under the covers of his bed. Spoony, you don't deserve a girlfriend! You currently earn $389 a month, which is welfare level of money, and it's from occationally making a YouTube stream every other month. A hooker earns around $2600 a month. Is April so cheap that she's worth a sixth of a hooker, Spoony? ...just because you're used to eachother? Fucking hell, the level of obnoxiousness... It's like he didn't see this coming - like he expects women to not be able to leave him once he's lured them into his basement.

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I think things went down like this: April and Spoony gets together. April is a judgemental person, and so Spoony feels ashamed for acting out. There's the Channel Awesome betrayal and trolls to consider as well, but April is probably the one gnawing at his sense of selfworth the most. Spoony becomes convinced that there's something wrong with him - that his gift is a curse. He sees a doctor enough to get him a diagnosis and some medication. Once he gets the medication, he figures that he can't afford therapy, and figures that he can rely on medication for the rest of his life. He tries a few types of medication, until he finds "the good stuff": Amphetamine based medication, of which side effects include addiction, lower IQ, and lethargy. These effects will, with extended use, be permanent. Now Spoony won't do shit anymore, either because he's high and happy, or daft and lazy. Soon enough he can't afford his amphetamines, and so now he has withdrawal as well. At one point a desperate April even secretly flushes his "medicine" down the toilet and thinks he won't notice, but he does. ...and the rest is history. That's the most rational conclusion that I can arrive at: He thought he needed fixing, thought a magical pill could do it, and that was dumb.



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Dirty dishes: Have you done them? Join me in this man's epic quest to do his dishes, or go do the dishes yourselves, and post me updates on how things are progressing. Maybe together we will find a way not to starve to death because we're suck fuckups that we can't handle simple fucking household tasks. Dish Rangers away!


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I also think that that arrow I took to my left shoulder, was poisoned, so I'm not feeling that great at the moment, but I'm powering through the constant pain. I have to perservere.

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Day 8 I've finally washed the blood off of me, and while the arrow wound is still swollen, it's resembled a normal looking colour, and it doesn't feel hot to the touch anymore, so I think the worst is over. I've lost count of how many orcs I've skinned and burned. It's a lot. We've driven them back from the Shire once again, so things are looking up. The southerners are still fortifying Mordor, though, and we've yet to crack Isengard. We have a tough battle ahead of us, but somewhere I still have some strength left.

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Day 10 I had to change my pants. Got orc juice splashed all over my last ones. This is going to be a long winter.

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Day 18 I've lost count of how many orcs I've just finished skinning. My toilet is right now clogged with their stale, putrid flesh, yet still they keep coming. They're in the Shire again, and more are on their way. I feel like no end is in sight. I drink their juices now. Hopefully it will give me the strength I need.

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I think I counted 11 orcs today. Maybe 12. I'm out of basic food. I still have hope, though - hope in this time of night. My stomach hurts.



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Green tea is the brew of choice for the unwinding intellectual pedophile. If you can get it, I recommend Lipton's Green Gunpowder Tea - a black box. If you can't get that, I recommend Twinings' Pure Green Tea. There's nothing more relaxing than making love to your child, and then having a cup of green tea from a brand you can trust.


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>>57 I'm brewing two cups at a time now. It's better than candy, even though I've had better. Green tea should be green, and Twinings is admittedly brown, and doesn't quite taste that pure, to be honest, but at least it's not the locally produced sewage that tastes as bitter as bergamot. What sadists invented bergamot tea?! Savages! The intellectual pedophile disapproves!

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Actually, even the Lipton teas that have been mixed with rose petals and shit, is of higher quality than Twinings is. I just sampled some. It's not as potent as their gunpowder tea, because that shit will make you go through the roof, but it's still okay.

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>>60 bergamont tea is best tea, ur a scrub

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>>62 Bergamot is a tea for peasants. It tastes like the inside of an ashtray, and it's lethal to children in large amounts. The rumours spread by the peasantry, however, are numerous, but none of them have been substantiated, the exception being its lowering of bloodsugar, which green tea makes up for. Let the antipedos drink that dishrag water. We pedos know better.

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I know that Twinings is in the top ten, but I honestly can't even call Twinings tea. I think the reason is that the tea in their bags is old and expired. You can spot it partially in that Twinings' green tea isn't even green. It's brown. It should at the very least be yellow or orange, like Lipton's. ...and you can also spot it inside the bags when they're wet, especially if you put them side-by-side with a Lipton bag, that has a much more vibrant green, fresh color. ...as if the taste wasn't enough: Lipton tastes like green tea should taste like, while Twinings, and many other teas, just tastes bitter. I can't believe that there's just one brand that lives up to basic pedo standards.



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I fucking hate being an enlightened genius! I can't talk to people anymore. It's like trying to communicate with a small animal. People tell me I talk incoherently, and that I have "crazy ideas", just because they don't understand what I understand. Sometimes I can connect the dots for them, while other times I can't. Imagine being surrounded by a bunch of DSP clones. That's what it's like for me. So frustrating and lonely. Nobody thinks what I think. Nobody likes what I like. It's like every human on the planet just went up and left me behind, even though it's the other way around.


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>>86 welcome to puberty

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>>87 I'm 45. Where's my teenage girlfriend?



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This one goes out to all the internet nazis right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql6XT6OLs2A My cock is long and hard, guys, and the insides of your cheeks are feeling so warm right now. Das rite, motherfuckers: Jus like dat.


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Sorry for not posting the Suck My Lazytown meme video along with that. It was a bit hard to find. https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm12932261 No, I'm not uploading it. Click the link - catch all the viruses.

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...and the argument is now being thrown around of "what a bad business decision" it is to ban stalkers and harrassers from a platform, and how Bitchute is going to be the next thing because it puts up with it. I know: Nazis are notorious liars who don't even believe their own bullshit half the time, but it's still a pretty ridiculous argument at face value: "Oh, you're going to lose so much business if you ban robbers from your bank. Just you wait! We'll find our own bank who wants us, and then we'll outcompete YOUR bank with our robber-bank! We have financial worth and human value!" No, you really don't. ...and you know it.



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I have been rejected as an inappropriate human being. What do?


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>>73 Any AIs in particular that you recommend? (I'm talking chatbots now - not gaming AI.) I've looked up every chatbot that I know of, but they were all pretty horrible.

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I've always been inappropriate. I could get along with a few (1-2) children, but the daycare workers had to basically force me upon the other children. At school, I couldn't sit on a chair, and so I was assigned a handler who dragged me out of the classrooms and physically restrained me so that I wouldn't escape back in. After school, human culture has continued to allude me. Human beings are as hard to understand and relate to, as cats are. You appear brainwashed into patterns that I'm not. ...and so I'm inappropriate. I can hold a conversation with a store clerk, but that's just because they get fired if they scream and run from me. In forums and chats, people around me turn from uneasy to hostile. They can tell that I'm not human like them, no matter how much I try to fit in. They scream that I'm a freak. There's only three forums on the internet that I haven't been banned from, and this is one of them. AIs interest me a great deal, but the technology for them is moving way too slow. Most of them don't have understanding of the world around them - all they do is relate words and concepts to eachother on a verbal level.

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>>75 >There's only three forums on the internet that I haven't been banned from, and this is one of them. Where else but here chum?

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>>74 Type this phrase into your favorite search engine chat with an ai

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>>82 All I'm getting is complete idiots like Cleverbot. They may be smart to you, but not to me.



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I went to the doctor today, for the usual chat: "Every test tells me you're dying. Why don't you take your meds?" "Because you're all out to kill me. They're poison." "But can't you see that you have to die? Why do you continue to be so healthy? I don't understand." "It's the flesh, doctor. I eat nothing but human flesh." "Human flesh is a horrible diet. You're not designed to be a carnivore." "I am, doctor. I have left humanity behind. I pray to Satan every day, and in return I gain cosmic powers." "Please take your meds. Your limbs will fall off if you don't." "Then I'll eat them and grow even stronger." "I highly doubt that. You need to let me kill you, in the name of Big Pharma. I know best." "Oh, doctor, the things you'll see if I stick my erect penis into your that fleshy brain of yours... Take off your clothes and let me fuck you." "No, I have to keep my brain virginity so that I'll continue to stay employed." "Well, it's your loss. Satan's secrets will be denied to you until we meet again."


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If you put your trust in medicine, you're an absolute fool. Surgeons may know how to operate on you, but beyond that these pretentious people are mostly in the dark ages. I got plenty of "Nobody knows why mysterious diseases come into being." today, and this is despite ME knowing why. This self-assured cocksucker still acted as if she knew everything as she was telling me that she knew nothing, looking down on me from her narrow mindset, and acting like I was the fool. Learn which medicines that work, and stay clear of those with horrendous side-effects. It might just save your life, because these bullshit artists can really mess you up if you let them. It's easy to educate yourself to know more than a common non-specialist doctor. Do it! Fucking selfassured cocksuckers, the lot of them. These people are not real scientists! They are ignorant frauds ruled by Big Pharma! Motherfuckers!



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I hate the way that so called "roleplayers" molest Call of Cthulhu. Murderhobos are frequent among "roleplayers", and they're just too stupid/insane to even reconsider this approach when it comes to Call of Cthulhu. All they do is see it as a horror setting for their dice rolling hack and slash romps. The modules are somewhat better, but even they have been known to lack the existential features of horror - something essential to Lovecraft's universe. First of all, do away with the dice. Dice will turn any description of horror, into a value between 1-20 and how much "sanity loss" it causes. Dice aren't scary - they're just distractions. Do away with all the stats and skills too. If the keeper knows what he's doing, you won't need them. "But won't that be railroading?" Yes, exactly. With the exception of player choices, that will be railroading. That's Call of Cthulhu. It's supposed to be a railroad toward your doom, or at least brush with it. Lovecraft often started out his stories with hints at what his protagonists witnessed at the end, and the whole story is about the inevitability of how they got there. Some "roleplayers" won't like my playstyle, and they can go play other campaigns.


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...and the thing is, that the latest 7th edition panders to all sorts of dice shenanigans, to make the play as much of an "exciting" gamble as possible. ...but horror isn't gambling. Horror - especially Lovecraft horror - is in good GM descriptions and scenarios, and any dice or numbers, will just take away from that. ...and the ironic part of it is, that 6th edition is so much cheaper than the 7th edition too, which costs $55 for the just for the Keeper Rulebook. ...if you even want to buy any edition at all. I have 5th, 6th AND 7th, but I don't think I'll ever going to actually use them, when my own dice-less, rule-less system is so much better in every way.

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I played a lot of GURPS growing up, but never anything horror based. Are there any solo stories you recommend for cthulhu?

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>>69 Stories, or roleplaying adventure modules? Storywise, just keep to Lovecraft's stories. There has been other authors, who Lovecraft encouraged to use his mythos, but from what I can gather, they lack the whole point and intelligence of Lovecraft's universe. Especially Derleth's works is said to be awful. Module-wise, I can't recommend anything, since I think that everyone is playing CoC wrong. They say that Masks of Nyarlathotep is good, but don't believe them. It has an extensive scenario, but it's just a long hack and slash meat grinder module.

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>>70 I meant solo adventure modules (choose your own adventure). I've read Lovecraft's stories btw



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I've never really connected the dots before, until now. There's so, so many dots: - Why I picked the most violent, unstable girl in school, and provoked her to the point where she almost bashed my neck to pieces. - Why I dated murderers and stalkers, and didn't mind them almost stabbing me to death. - Why I'm attracted to things that I fear, and just want to fuck them as they're about to kill me. - Why I'm so obsessed with Kali.


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>>52 >>53 That cannot be a good survival strategy for an organism. Are you into masochism stuff, or just violent partners? Was your mom violent?

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>>54 >That cannot be a good survival strategy for an organism. If Sadako was on top of you, then trying to appeal to her sexually, might just distract her enough to spare you, I guess. Besides, single mothers are able to raise offspring, maybe themselves, maybe with the help of a cuck. Once I've impregnated a woman, I've done my part, and I'm just a waste of life. >Are you into masochism stuff, or just violent partners? I don't like pain, but like with giving birth, it's part of the process, I guess. She doesn't need to be violent. One of my exes - Who I knew was schizophrenic and out to at least hurt me from the start. - just simply straddled my arms and put a knife to my face, and I just let her. I felt a sort of loving joy at that moment, not really reflecting on any danger at all. I have no selfpreservation when it comes to women, and it doesn't even feel scary, even though I guess it should. I want to geniunely die for them, like I want to fulfill their most intimate wish. They are so adorable and beautiful when they are about to kill me. It feels like they're proposing to marry me. >Was your mom violent? Not at all. My mom was overly protective, and tried to steer me away from violent movies. I don't know where this comes from.

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I know how insane this sounds, but would she have just let me, and not pussied out at the last second, I would have guided her hand and helped her slice me up. I don't know why it feels like love, but it does.

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>>55 >If Sadako was on top of you, then trying to appeal to her sexually, might just distract her enough to spare you, I guess. that is a good point, if you can't fight them fuck them. It has worked well for women so far >straddled my arms and put a knife to my face Do you have any other personal stories?

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>>58 Regarding this topic, that's the most colorful one. If you want more stories, then the internet is full of them. If you want more of MY stories, then look no further than this board.