Enrive[ a / b / biz / c / co / g / gg / global / k / lit / Movies / mu / nsa / pc / pol / sci / toon / tv / x / ]

Predictable - /p/ [Catalog] [Board FAQ]

[New Thread]


OT

CAPTCHA Image

TopBottom

Image Thumbnail

New Global Thread, everyone is getting banned edition Reddit boards Stefan molyneux and American Renaissance banned from youtube Twitch suspends Trump's account What else?


32 replies and 6 media omitted.
>>

>>26429 But then who killed Epstein? Only a god can kill a god. This mystery will forever remain unsolved. (Kali shuffles away in the background while whistling an innocent tune.)


Image Thumbnail

All hail AngelCock.


0 replies and 0 media omitted.


Image Thumbnail

Welcome to /p/. This is a board for posting in if not even /b/ will have you. "Expected" and non-creative threads, go here. (Outright spam does not, though.) This board isn't meant to be pretty, so let's hope the board filter will be enabled soon.


0 replies and 0 media omitted.


Image Thumbnail

Man, when you manage to balance all the drugs just right, you just begin to feel so good that you can't sleep anymore. You're just sitting and feeling content with everything. Today was fucking awesome. I can't believe that it's only been a day - feels like two. I kind of went nuts there for a while, and sort of made an entire fucking roster of figurines. Man, that extra drug I took, it gave me a cold shower, and it made me happy. Today was great. Fucking every drug is filling my body right now, and I don't feel any wants. ...except for sleep, a bit, but I feel too good to sleep. I'm too happy to sleep. ...and I showered today too. Don't do drugs, kids. I mean, do drugs - do lots of drugs - but don't do narcotics. Only do healthy drugs. Tomorrow I'll poop.


0 replies and 0 media omitted.
>>
Image Thumbnail

I mean there are all kinds of people just looking for the meaning of life, and enlightenment, but dude: Just take the right amount of drugs, man! If you take the right drugs, in just the right amounts, you'll be able to satisfy your desires. The meaning of life isn't philosophical. It's biochemical, man! You're unhappy just because your body is starving. Once you satiate your needs, you've got everything you ever need. I just went to the toilet and I practically just farted. Maybe I'm so perfectly balanced that I don't even produce waste anymore. I slept something like 1-2 hours, and I feel rested, man, and that's because I've opened up my innermost crevices and flushed the decay out.

>>

I feel like the first image is my sexuality flag at the moment: I'm greenosexual, cyanosexual, purplosexual, yellowisexual, and bluesexual. I love the green, I love the cyan - I love ALL that shit. I just genuinely love life right now, but not in a horny way. I don't even have thoughts right now, because I'm so happy and satisfied. I feel like I'm sleeping, but I'm awake.



Image Thumbnail

We are made to kill the living and excrete them as poop. That is the meaning of our lives: We are the harvesters of death, and the processers of flesh. We kill people, and we make poop out of their bodies. It feels almost like a turn on to say it somehow. I've been working really hard on producing poop these past days. It is your duty to eat, excrete and repeat. The more you eat, the more you grow as a person. Humans are like little under-gods of death, before we too get eaten and excreted by Kali, so that she can grow. ...but before we do, we can even make little children for her to eat later on. Anyone who's ever eaten eggs or chicken, knows how superior the taste of youth is. The flesh is more tender. ...but anyway: I wish I could show you the volume of my shit, but I don't have a camera. ...but every time I produce something in the bowl, I get filled with this sense of pride and accomplishment: I made something living into something dead. I didn't really go out and murder it, because that's against the rules, but I ate its corpse and I broke it down into only waste products. I raped it on a molecular level, and sucked up all its nutrients, and their all part of me now, like I've enslaved its very soul. I love it. Just remember to drink inbetween your meals. I drink green tea and holy water daily. Flush that beautiful death machine of yours, so that it's ready for another go. Swallow that calf and digest! Digest! <3


0 replies and 0 media omitted.
>>

The main part of you, from your mouth intake to your anus, is just this massive factory of death - your death canal, ever sensually snaking, writhing and squirming, ever eager for more sweet, innocent life to consume. Then your sphincter opens majestically, and out it comes: The trophy of its utter defeat. The nothingness. The testament to your victory. The shadow of your growing strength. I want to eat and excrete the ones I love. I want to defeat them and suck them up inside my body as part of my conquest, and feel their souls struggle within me. Let me eat all that beauty and love that you carry within you. Let me extract it and make you part of me. <3

>>

I've been to the toilet three times today, producing soft little pathetic slinkies. I want to poop BIGGER! I miss the old days, where I could excrete large manly logs that would mercilessly clog any toilet. It's such a bother to have to poop so many times a day, and yet produce so little. Still, eating and pooping, that's what life is about. If you're not eating and pooping, then what are you doing with your life, you insane man?

>>

I feel like I'm the only one in the world who poops. I mean I've seen people poop - at one point I've even inspected a little girl's sphincter AS it pooped IRL, which was pretty cool - but the mind forgets, and so I'm just left with this feeling that pooping is like picking my nose: It's just something shameful that I do because there's something wrong with me. Famous people don't poop, and beautiful girls don't poop - don't be ridiculous. For a long time I've wanted to write fanfics where a legendary character does nothing but poop, because it's so fantastic to me. Imagine her, and then she has to poop, and then she goes to the toilet, and poops, with her colon, just like me. I feel like there's an intimate bond there forming. We'll, I've pooped now. Little soft slinkies, as usual. I can't remember the last time I produced a big anaconda snake, but I think slinkies are probably a sign of health. They also don't clog up the toilet, which is really nice.

>>

I just love to poop. Today - because of all the butter I've eaten - the poop was really gooey and stubborn, and so I had to push quite a bit to get it all out, and it even took two tries, but I'm pleased with the end result: My poop factory is all emptied out and ready for a refill, and in just a couple of minutes, I'm going to shove more down the chute. I have so much life to kill and digest, and I'm doing my part. =)



Image Thumbnail

Today I cleaned my toilet seat. This year and last year I've just been sitting in a layer of moldy poop, but I've gotten rid of that now - at least as far as the seat is concerned. Imagine not sitting in poop anymore, fam.


0 replies and 0 media omitted.


Image Thumbnail

After not having tweeted anything for four days straight, Spoony is missing and assumed dead. In his last livestream he was seen visibly trying to stay conscious, and reporting having collapsed on the floor shortly afterward. He refused to see a doctor despite many fan suggesting that he should do so. Considering his overconsumption of Mountain Dew, what killed him was probably diabetes in combination with Covid-19. His final word was "anus".


5 replies and 3 media omitted.
>>

>>235 No, hold on: He's alive again. No mention of any hospital, but I am assuming that even HE has his limits when it comes to experiencing Bij.

>>
Image Thumbnail

Apparently Spoony's considered suicide over April leaving him, but "he's too afraid to go through with it". I think I've figured it out: This is actually Spoony's mating call. See, we know how April and Spoony met: April sent him a video over JewWario's suicide, going "I just want you to know that I'm here for you." - a real pity comfort video with a side of vagina. ...and so I guess for all these years she's been nursing him, thinking it would make him better, until she realized that she was only spoiling him and rewarding him for being miserable and selfdestructive. ...and so now Spoony has learned - whether it's consciously or subconsciously - that depression is how you game. He's thinking that if he's only miserable enough, that some nurse angel is going to fall into his lap again. ...but what he's not getting, is that April's original attraction to him, was just like any other woman's attraction: Opportunistic and parasitic. Spoony's actual attraction was his success - his fame and his money. The pity was just a seductive excuse.

>>

>>245 ...and people are like "Call Angry Joe! Call your friends!" and he's practically like "I'm not gay. They can't help.".

>>
Image Thumbnail

Now Spoony is having nightmares about being single. You can't make this up. Somebody teach him how to masturbate.

>>
Image Thumbnail

Noah, she left them behind because they DO mean nothing, because YOU mean nothing, because you ARE nothing, Noah. You meant something at one point, but back then you did something with your life. Just refer to yourself: Would YOU want someone who can't support herself, and who just moans and sleeps all day? ...even if she once a year bring you gifts? ...and if you can settle for that, then just invite a homeless person from the streets, Noah - there's plenty of fish in THAT sea. ...but hey, keep wallowing in selfpity if you don't get it. I've got better stuff to do with MY life.



Image Thumbnail

Slimes. Who is your favourite slime? Who is your most hated slime? Are you a slime? Should slimes die in a fire? Describe your sexiest slime. I was a slime back in March, but I've since struggled to overcome my slimeness, and hopefully I won't relapse. Have you ever been a slime? Do you know anyone who's a slime?


0 replies and 0 media omitted.


Image Thumbnail

This fine lady slaps your ass: "Me ovulating. You puny human has sperm stick." What do you do?


0 replies and 0 media omitted.
>>
Image Thumbnail

This, but sort of reversed.



Image Thumbnail

My anus is leaking again. It actually seems to have healed pretty well this recent year, so I feel like it shouldn't be leaking, but maybe it has a hard time readjusting back into a healed state, combined with the fact that I've been too preoccupied to take my medicine for the last two days.


0 replies and 0 media omitted.
>>

I finally took my medicine, so I can hopefully poop again now. It's hard to stick to all these routines sometimes.

>>

I'm full of poo right now. I haven't shat for days, but I shat a few hours ago, and I'm not bleeding anymore, and hopefully I'm going to shit now too. This is exciting.

>>

No, I couldn't produce as much as I thought. I felt so full, but it turned out to be all gas again.

>>

I used to be able to poop out these monstrous logs of poo, that just snaked laps in the toilet bowl, clogging it up, and now when I'm eating right, I feel kind of impotent, like my manliness is called into question. No woman would like to shove my little fart poops into her vagina. It's depressing.



Image Thumbnail

Pedophiles! Don't be ashamed of eating prey. It is your birthright to devour the weak. The more you eat, the bigger you'll become, and the bigger you become, the more they'll fear you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv2R4fRaHqM


0 replies and 0 media omitted.
>>

When you get big enough, and if you take care to eat nutritious food, and none of that candy shit, there's no such thing as "overeating". I stuff myself full every day, fellow pedophiles, and the only thing I'm gaining is energy for my training. If you starve yourself, you're only going to become weak and SKINNY, and then people are going to CONTINUE to laugh at you. They'll tell you that respect is all about being nice to people - FUCK that! That's a lie they tell you to get you to fall in line so that they can trample you underfoot for the rest of your life. Respect is fear. Respect is muscle. If some skinny or fat guy comes up to you can says something, you know he's just out looking to compensate for being pathetic. ...but if some big dude comes up to you and says the same thing, you know that he could beat you up, but instead he CHOSE to be nice to you. That's how you know that you can trust him. What's how people respect people: Through fear. ...but to be feared, you need to eat as many victims as you can, pedophiles. Don't fall for the shame game - as pedophiles you should aready know this. Eat, train, sleep and repeat.

>>

Eat six meals a day! Just eat and move, eat and move! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhQzKDiEmbo

>>

I'm going to stop eating my meet off plates, and start eating it from microwaved cups instead. That allows me to eat more often, and it's easier to wash as well. I am a pedophilic GENIUS!



Image Thumbnail

This thread I dedicate to my feefees. Feefees are important. When people treat us nicely, we feel good, and when people treat us badly, our feefees get hurt, and then we can feel bad. Remember to be kind to my feefees, or I will feel bad.


0 replies and 0 media omitted.


Image Thumbnail

Fellow pedophiles, how slimy are you right now? I'm not slimy. I just took a shower. =) I'm finally rid of that ol' grimy coating. Shower with me, fellow pedophiles. Together we'll clean the world one pedophile at a time. Don't make the lolis do all the scrubbing. oO8o0O.o


0 replies and 0 media omitted.
>>
Image Thumbnail

"So what is the secret to my grimy coating?", you ask. "Where does it come from?" Well, the answer is simple: From my slimy pedophile bed. See, I change the sheets about once a year, and over time they just become constantly slimy and wet with grime. It's pretty hard to faal asleep in it every night. ...but today I took them all and threw them in the wash. They used to be white, and so did the poor mattress underneath, but now they're both a cream yellow from the urine, and spotted with brown stains of what I hope is just dried blood, but you never know WHAT I'm leaking from my anus these days. I don't think my mattress will ever be clean again, but at least I can cover the stains up. I want little girls to sleep in this bed, without them really knowing that they're sleeping on top of my anus blood. I hope you're doing better. When was the last time you changed YOUR bed sheets, fellow pedophiles?



Image Thumbnail

Xmas is a time for friends and family. It's also a time for giving. Most importantly it's to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Followed by a few days of filling upnon cheese and wine. Then it was a brand new year. It hasn't been a month yet, but it seems like it was so long ago already. Did you get what you wanted for Xmas chums?


0 replies and 0 media omitted.