I think the cat's out of the bag at this point: I'm completely retarded. I mean I'm probably not as retarded as they come, but I'm both mentally and physically retarded. You'll hear me coming a mile away, because of my audible screeching and blabbering. Yes, I fell on my head when I was a child. Maybe that did it. Of course I'm too retarded to notice it a lot of the time, so to me I'm just a normal person, until I actually think about it. I had a caregiver once, provided for free by the state, to help me with my household chores, but even they couldn't stand me. ...so are there any retard friends here? We can share stories about how embarrassingly retarded we are. There is no shame here - this is the internet. Am I really the king of all retards around here, or am I just second in command? Challenge me!
Yesterday I went outside. I packed two chocolate bars with me for breakfast. Once in public I just went full screech mode. I screamed for hours until I almost cried. It was beautiful. It was a concerto. Then I went to the front desk and proudly told the cashier there: "I was the one screeching." ...and she was like "Really? I didn't notice.". ...but I think I did make my impression, at least on the people there. Fuck, you should have seen me yesterday: I was on FIRE. I was so retarded that I couldn't walk. I had to brace myself with BOTH hands when going down the stairs, because my legs are probably the most retarded part of my body. Let me tell you about my legs. (Part 1/2)
I mean I'm not wheelchair bound. No, I stagger around on my atrophied things, groaning and grunting along. My muscles are probably just on the virge of snapping, and that's because I'm too retarded to get out of my chair all day. I just sit around and go "Screeech!" on the internet. You might have noticed. ;) Women probably be like "Eww!", and I'm like "I want to squirt retardo juices in all your wombs!" but I don't say that out loud in public - not to their faces. (I'm not there just yet, but I'm getting there, don't you worry.)
...and I have this shirt that says "I'm more special than you." that I wear every day, because I'm too retarded to wash my clothes. I just wear them until they grow yellow stains or start to make my body itch, and often just wear them some more.
Man, caretakers are so HOOOT! I want to cum inside the womb of this one. <3 https://www.heavy-r.com/video/288587/Did_she_just_fuck_her_retarded_brother_/
I don't really know how I'm alive at this point, to be honest. I heard that you'll die if you don't eat, but I'm too retarded to do the most basic of tasks. I've been busy sperging about in my padded retardo chair instead, playing pretending to be a ship captain. ...for about a week straight. Wroom! Wroom! My body's like "Nooo! What are you doing? Go eat something!" and I'm like "Wrooom! Wrooom! All phasers to stun! Wroom!".