Having referred to pedos "irredeemable monsters" more than once, Noah "Spoony" Antwiler is an antipedo, and as an antipedo, he's naturally a complete dumbass. The thing with Noah, is that when he's wrong, he's not just wrong like an average person - he's wrong with CONVICTION. He has backed down exactly once, and it was the biggest mistake in his life, and so now he will NEVER back down, no matter what. This guy can claim that chess pieces doesn't even exist right in front of him, just so that he can keep being right. ...which brings us to his latest hilarity on Twitter: His claims about how he will melt in sunlight. For reference (if you can't be bothered to read the next image) 10 000 - 25 000 lux, is normal daylight, while 32 000 - 130 000 lux is direct sunlight.
Spoony on 10 000 lux (which is BARELY daylight): "Someone recommended that I find a "sun lamp" as a treatment for depression. So I did some research: most sun lamps put out ***10,000 lux*** of light. I *use* stage lights. Do you have any IDEA how bright 10,000 lux is? 10,000 lux is like having the sun in your fucking house." "If I put 10,000 lux in my room I'm going to melt like someone opened the Ark of the Fucking Covenant. That's so god damn bright, if you turned it on in another room I'd see it through the fucking WALL." "I could jam lit road flares in my fucking eyes and it still wouldn't be 10,000 fucking lux." "I could signal fucking aircraft carriers from shore with 10,000 goddamn lux. JEEEEZIS." "Fucking Superman gets his power from the sun, and he'd have to wear the Eradicator's blu-blockers to keep his eyes from melting in his skull." >That... is probably the point. I actually find letting some sunlight in perks me up a bit. It can lighten the mood a bit. Not completely, but just a tiny bit. "Oh, I'd definitely be fucking awake. And blind and screaming in mortal agony." "Normally if you want to experience 10,000 lux you have to drop balls-first on a steel guardrail. Fuck me, man." "HEY SPOONY I GOT YOUR SUN LAMP 'AAAAAAHHHH!!!' *melting image* "
Spoony on 15 000 lux (which is fairly low daylight): "OHO! I found one that puts out **15,000 lux**. I think you have to actually be hit in the face with an atomic explosion to eat that much fucking light." "I mean, fucking Goku's kamehameha only puts out a little over 9,000, and that much light would punch a hole in a fucking mountain."
Spoony on 32 000-35 000 lux (which is barely direct sunlight): "Oh my god. This one puts out 32,000 lux. That's like standing in the Large Hadron Collider and screaming at the guys running it "IS THAT ALL YOU FUCKING GOT YOU PUSSIES??" "Yeaaaah, 35,000 lux, Mr. Spoony! This'll fix yer depression in a jiffy!" "That much light would incinewate evewything and weave it wavaged and wifewess." "The last time someone took that much fucking light to the face, the Flash had to merge with the Speed Force to wipe out the Anti-Monitor." (No, I don't know what he's talking about either. I'm a pedophile - not a nerd.) "35,000 lux is like being RIGHT NEXT to the Death Star laser when it goes off." "Last time someone stood in front of a lamp putting out 35,000 motherfucking lux, James Hetfield burst into flame." "Normally you have to piss off an ancient Chinese sorcerer to take 35,000 lux to the fucking face." "Only time anyone's taken 35,000 lux to the face was when you fire HELIOS 1 and wipe out the NCR in Fallout 3." "Fucking Thor only ate 30,000 lux when he had to hold that sun portal open to fire up the Asgardian forge."
He's still at it. I'm just done reporting on it, because I have a life. See, at this point he's realized he's wrong, and he's going with the "I was obviously only being sarcastic. See how kooky I'm being?" defense, except that the reason he went on this rant to begin with, was to get himself some help for his claimed "depression". This guy will violently refuse to seek help for something that can only be described as laziness, so that he can continue to sit around and read old comics and play video games forever. He doesn't want a sun lamp, because he doesn't NEED a sun lamp. There's literally sunlight outside his door! It's summer! He could get a cheap lawn chair!
> Having referred to pedos "irredeemable monsters"
>>232355 > Having referred to pedos "irredeemable monsters" Yes, there should be an "as" in there - I know. I fucked up.
Mountain Dew, and not enough training or leaving one's house. Dibs on his girlfriend once his heart fails. WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, APRIL!
It was at this moment that Spoony discovered his hatred for the Jews. I'm sorry - I'm not an antisemite, but I just couldn't let this go. It's such a perfect setup: The myth of jewish greed actually originated from the jews being harder on paying back loans than christians had been, and here we have what I'm fairly sure is an SJW and an ethnic jew, being his disgustingly greedy self, over $17, for months, while complaining about lenders practically being like greedy jews. I'm pretty sure that this very post was what singlehandedly started the holocaust.
Spoony has this game that he plays, where he teases that he's going to stream, trolls for suggestions, and then rejects everything, based on not having money, it being bad, et cetera. Just look at this list of suggestions that his fans has come up with, none of which is "crying myself unconscious":
final fantasy 9 - The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Final fantasy XV - Any classic ultima games - FFVI - Ultima V - Skulduggery - Amnesia - The Zoombinis - Two Point Hospital - Prey - Kingmaker - Untitled Goose Game - Gex - Borderlands 3 - Any wrestling game worth laughing at - guilty gear - Battletech - any game you like and are semi-confident in playing - any game you absolutely can't stand like that Dark Dreams game - Outer worlds - Terraria - The 13th Doll - mario teaches typing - Vermintide 2 - Senua's Sacrifice - FFIX - Styx: Shards of Darkness - Anything made in the last 15 years - msdos games - A random game - Metro - Drunken D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die - Shovel Knight - Guardians of the Hood - Samurai Shodown V Special - Grim Fandango - Kingmaker - Mario kart - FFIX - Untitled Goose Game - Donut County - Jedi academy - fallen order - Temple of elemental evil - Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular - Destiny 2 - Onimusha: Warlords - Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer - IRL - The Council - Blake stone aliens of gold - The Sims 4 - Minecraft - Hearthstone - Indivisible - Neverwinter Nights - Siphon Filter - Battletech - Disco Elysium - Stubbs the Zombie - Raze's Hell - Warhammer: Dark Omen - oknytt - the vanishing of ethan carter - Sayonara Wild Hearts - Quake 2 - SWTOR - Underrail - disco elysium - Counter Monkey riff notes - Monkey island - Tales From The Borderlands - Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth - I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream - Fran Bow - Leisure Suit Larry - King's Quest - Space Quest - The Colonel's Bequest - The Dagger of Amon Ra - Phantasmagoria - Toonstruck - Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out! - Leisure Suit Larry: Love for Sail! - Goosebumps: Escape from Horrorland - Goosebumps: Attack of the Mutant - Classic X-Com - Tag Tekken - outerworlds - Jade Empire on original xbox - Warframe